Yes, the Grumpy Vegan feels greater anger about the lion’s fate than he does the enterainer’s.
A Reason to Stay Horizontal after Sex
The Grumpy Vegan likes trains. And, whenever possible, opts to take the train rather than the plane. Recently, I had the opportunity to make two roundtrips to Boston from Baltimore. This was a departure from the road normally taken. I’ve never ventured as far north as Boston on the train. As a member of the AAA (I know, so AARP) and if I book far enough in advance, I can get a significant discount, which I offset by upgrading to business class. I like to work on trains. I can write, read and think, which is impossible on a plane and Amtrak’s pauper class.
Anyway, during my second Boston excursion and somewhere in Connecticut, I noticed two female power-yuppie-types sitting alongside me. No, not noticed; imposed upon more like. The never-ending banter. The constant talking over each. The liberal sprinkling of “like’s” and “you know’s.” The giggling and one could imagine, too, the touching. The yadda yadda interrupted by finger-poking Blackberrying.
Friend, the art of conversation is dead.
From time to time I was able to tune it all out and refocus on my own distractions. But then there was a loud, “No! You don’t say!” This, of course, means I have to put down my book and listen. It turns out that one had just told the other that they (presumably her husband but that wasn’t clear) were trying to have a baby. Now, babies and the Grumpy Vegan are like Bush and Mensa. So, I return my gaze to the countryside and my mind drifts back to my own thoughts. And, then, I hear, “Of course, now I stay lying down after we’ve had sex. Before I would always get up and go straight to the bathroom.” Immediately, I think, Who doesn’t? But then I think some more. Oh, she means so that the little spermatozoon can swim more easily upstream like trout, like, swimming upstream. Then, I think, they’re so small. What difference does it make whether she’s horizontal or vertical? Yes, gravity’s reach is endless. But spermatozoon? By now, I feel nausea. Straight sex usually makes me feel sick. But the vision of her lying there next door to her exhausted, given-it-all-he’s-got-presumably-husband while the little Woody Allens are doing their thing is, well, making me feel, like, really nauseous–really nauseous, like, as if I were pregnant, which makes me feel, like, even worse. So, I shake my head. Thank God I’m gay. And return to Pride and Prejudice.
British Minister Blogs on new Animal Welfare Act
The British Secretary of State for the Environment, Food and Rural Affairs, David Miliband, is a keen blogger. Here’s his post on the new Animal Welfare Act.
There is usually great debate when Bills come before Parliament, but then little debate when they come into force. That is all the greater pity when Acts are designed to be part of a change of culture, not just a change of law. On Good Friday 2007, the Animal Welfare Act came into force. We believe it is the most significant animal welfare legislation for nearly a century, introducing a duty of care for pet owners to do all that is reasonable to ensure the welfare of their animals – the first-ever welfare requirement for non-farmed animals. It also puts the UK at the forefront of animal welfare legislation around the world.
Pet owners will have a responsibility to ensure a suitable environment (where the pet lives), a suitable diet (what it eats and drinks), that it is able to behave normally, that it is housed with or apart from other animals (whatever is best for that particular animal), and that it is protected from pain, suffering, injury and disease. The Government intends to make more specific laws, under secondary legislation, for particular kinds of activities relating to animals, such as the welfare of racing greyhounds and wild animals in travelling circuses.
Virginia Knouse, Co-founder, PAWS
The Shoe on the Other Foot
The Grumpy Vegan was pleased to discover that the mayor of Lewes, East Sussex, Councilor Merlin Milner, is a vegetarian. Mayor Merlin recently presided over the Town and Country Dinner. A custom dating back to 1853 where 11 business people from Lewes and 11 local farmers get together for a posh dinner. Because of the mayor’s personal “beliefs and values,” he arranged for the meal to be, well, vegetarian. Some farmers stayed away because charred dead animal flesh was off that night. Farmer William Craig pouted,
I think we were all disappointed there wasn’t a meat option. When you go to a restaurant you are generally offered a vegetarian course and we were surprised we were not offered the same choice as meat-eaters.
How nice to see the shoe on the other foot for a change.
Saying Goodbye to Baverwood Hall
Woke up this morning to a dusting of snow. The lady banks rose is budding into leaf and the small butter yellow roses will bloom after we leave Baverwood Hall. Yes, we’re leaving Baverwood Hall. The Grumpy Vegan’s seat for 17 years and the home we built in a house that was, well, a mess. Last night, the Grumpy Vegan had his final personal day spa in the jacuzzi tub. No more. No more Baverwood Hall. No more morning sunlight pouring into the bedroom. No more ruby red sunsets backdropping the Baltimore city skyline. We won’t enjoy the Lady Banks climbing over the arbor built in January. We will never fulfill our dream of morning coffee on the deck along from our bedroom in the cool summer mornings and one-for-the-roads with the twinkling lights and sounds before we go to bed at night. Baltimore — and, more specifically — Canton has been good to us and we put a lot back into the community through our volunteerism. Soon, we move to the Baltimore County into temporary accommodation and, then, in June we return to England. It’s going to be difficult saying goodbye to Baverwood Hall.
