Authenticity and Integrity

The Grumpy Vegan is first in line when it comes to using cynicism, facetiousness and absurdity to make a rhetorical point. Surely the world could never have enough of these qualities to counter the seemingly perennial and universal humbug.

But is there a difference when PETA does it? Sometimes yes. Sometimes no. And like the applied art of determining the difference between real and pastiche religious artifacts, authenticity is frequently in the eye of the beholder.

Take, for example, PETA’s recent ethical cuisine award to British television presenter, Fergus Drennan, who is also known as The Roadkill Chef, and these two related press reports.

The Roadkill Chef – or Fergus Drennan, as he was christened — has finally received the culinary award his carrion cuisine deserves. No, not a Michelin star, although it cannot be long before inspectors visit the Kentish woodlands to forage for berries, mushrooms and assorted carcasses. The wild food collector, who only eats meat from animals he finds along roadways, has won the “Ethical Cuisine” gong from People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals. “Roadkill is not factory farmed or pumped full of antibiotics,” Drennan says. Peta comments that it is “no more disgusting than consuming the decaying flesh of factory farmed animals who spent their short lives mired in their own waste and whose flesh could be riddled with deadly bacteria.” The charity adds: “If you must consume meat, the only ethical way to do it is to scrape it off the road.”

The Independent February 3, 2007

Are you eating at the moment? One hopes the meat is from an ethical source – as in scraped from a road. People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals yesterday gave its first ethical cuisine award to Fergus Drennan, presenter of the BBC3 show The Roadkill Chef. Poorva Joshipura, director of Peta Europe, said: “Some people may think the idea of eating roadkill is gross, but it’s not any more disgusting than consuming the decaying flesh of factory-farmed animals who spent their short lives mired in their own waste and whose flesh could be riddled with deadly bacteria.” Well, quite. So badger crostinis at the next Peta meeting then.

The Guardian February 1, 2007

Yes, PETA operates under the slogan of “all publicity is good publicity.” And, yes, clearly the intent here is to shine the sarcastic spotlight on the irony of eating this but not eating that. But look more deeply at the message and how it gets played out. “So badger crostinis at the next Peta meeting then,” concludes The Guardian. Yes, this is clearly an ironic and a playful jab at PETA.

But this contentious media strategy also results in a negative side effect that speaks to the issue of PETA’s integrity. In other words, the authenticity of its message and the public’s perception of it as a credible organization. This is particularly important when PETA wants the media spotlight shone on its innovative undercover investigations into how animals are exploited and cruelly abused.

So, yes, well done PETA for these two paragraphs in the British press. Readers wouldn’t be thinking about animal rights otherwise, right? Further, readers are more likely to believe your next expose.

Posted in Organising | Tagged | Leave a comment

British Government to Distribute “An Inconvenient Truth”

Save us, Al.
The Grumpy Vegan is pleased to see the British Government’s Department for Environment, Food and Rural Affairs distributing free copies of Al Gore’s An Inconvenient Truth to every secondary school in England. DEFRA says that the DVD will go to 3,385 secondary schools as

part of a Sustainable Schools year of action to help all schools become models of sustainable best practice. Other tools and support being produced include teacher resource packs, a pupil ‘detective kit’, guidance for bursars and governors and a new teaching award.

Moreover, the Grumpy Vegan is delighted that Al Gore is nominated for the 2007 Nobel Peace Prize.

Posted in Thinking | Tagged | Leave a comment

The Passion of Mary Cheney by Dan Savage

Mary Cheney and Heather Poe
The Grumpy Vegan can’t stand hypocrisy and particularly when it occurs in political debate. That’s why you should read Dan Savage’s The Passion of Mary Cheney

In today’s New York Times Mary Cheney defends her decision to get her lezbo self knocked the fuck up. Like her father, Mary Cheney believes she shouldn’t have to answer for her party’s attacks on same-sex parents.

[this para from New York Times] When Heather and I decided to have a baby, I knew it wasn’t going to be the most popular decision,” Ms. Cheney said, referring to her partner of 15 years, Heather Poe. She then gestured to her middle–any bulge disguised by a boxy jacket–and asserted: “This is a baby. This is a blessing from God. It is not a political statement. It is not a prop to be used in a debate, on either side of a political issue. It is my child.

Nice try, Mary.

Yes, it’s a baby, not a prop. My kid isn’t a prop either but that never stopped right-wingers from attacking me and my boyfriend over our decision to become parents. The fitness of same-sex couples to parent is very much part of the political debate thanks to the GOP and the Christian bigots that make up its lunatic “base.” You’re a Republican, Mary, you worked on both of father’s campaigns, and you kept your mouth clamped shut while Karl Rove and George Bush ran around the country attacking gay people, gay parents, and our children in 2000, 2002, 2004, and 2006. It’s a little late to declare the private choices of gays and lesbians unfit for public debate, Mary.

Posted in Moaning, Thinking | Tagged | Leave a comment

Bird Flu in Britain

Animal Aid statement on Bernard Matthews bird flu outbreak

With government-appointed killing gangs preparing to destroy as many as 160,000 birds at a Bernard Matthews Suffolk turkey farm, it is time for the intensive poultry industry to acknowledge that its own ruthless animal production and slaughtering systems are the root cause of the deadly new strains of bird flu.

The global poultry industry has so far succeeded in diverting blame for the Avian Influenza outbreaks onto wild migratory birds. But with the migratory season over, industry apologists are devoid of excuses.

In its natural state, the influenza virus has existed for millions of years as a harmless, intestinal infection of aquatic birds such as ducks. In poultry, bird flu has gone from a rare disease that occurs once a year to a far more lethal condition that is striking more and more frequently. The deadly H5N1 strain emerged in 1997 in Hong Kong. Since then, lethal outbreaks have hit the Far East, China, North America and Europe, including Norfolk and Fife. Millions of birds have been brutally destroyed and more than 100 people have died, mostly in Asia.

Broiler sheds are perfect breeding grounds for the new, deadly viral strains and there are any number of ways that they can spread across countries and continents – not least through transportation of chicks and poults, poultry products, feed and equipment.

Countries that have not yet developed a large-scale intensive poultry industry have been largely spared. Despite poultry sheds being nominally sealed off from the outside world, diseased material can easily enter them. An expert in the field, Dr Mohammad Yousaf*, has indicated that H5N1 and other such strains can find their way in through faecal traces or moisture in the air – or through the medium of feed, water, supplies, cages, clothes, delivery vehicles, mammals and even insects.

That a Bernard Matthews production unit should be hit by bird flu comes as no surprise to those who have monitored the company’s activities over the years. Undercover investigations in 2002, 2005 and 2006 produced evidence of crowded, dirty conditions with severely injured, diseased and dead birds.

In September last year, two of the company’s workers at Beck Farm, Haveringland were convicted of battering turkeys with a broom handle, used like a baseball bat. The solicitor defending the men described the conditions in the unit as “appalling” and said: “You can see why people move to an organic, more open type of farming.”

Intensive farms, like those that Bernard Matthews run, are little more than disease factories. Overcrowded, filthy conditions, and stressed animals are a recipe for an outbreak.

The first priority of the meat industry and its government allies has been to insist that poultry products are safe to eat and that the public should continue to buy and consume them. Cooked chicken and turkey might be purged of viruses but how safe are the bodies of dead birds – fresh from supermarket chillers – that reside in millions of fridges around the country?

The birds in that Holton shed, whose fate under ‘normal’ production regimes would be appalling, are set to endure even greater suffering. Government ministers indicated in recent months that they would be prepared to allow mass asphyxiation of birds under just these circumstances.

Animal Aid is calling for a boycott of all chicken products as a means of waking up the government, the industry and the consumer to the vile and deadly nature of intensive animal production in the UK.

Posted in Animal Rights, Living | Tagged | Leave a comment

Barbaro’s True Fate

The Grumpy Vegan knows he’s supposed to feel sorry for Roy and Gretchen Jackson over the loss of Barbaro.

As all who have witnessed the death and mourned the loss of a companion animal knows, it is the most heartbreaking moment anyone can ever experience in their life.

The Baltimore Sun quotes Gretchen Jackson as saying

Grief is the price we all pay for love. I’d like all of us to say a prayer for Barbaro, and I hope we can turn our love into an energy to help all horses throughout the world. … I hope each of us will find a path to support the horse.

The Sun also repeats an earlier quote from her:

It’s not about money. It’s not about limelight. It’s more about the horse and its beauty and integrity on a lot of levels.

Well, if it’s not about the money and the limelight and it’s all about the horse and his beauty and integrity, why force Barbaro to engage in an act that places him at such a substantial risk that threatens his life?

If I loved Barbaro as much as the Jacksons claim the Grumpy Vegan would give him all the love he deserves and leave him to live out his life peacefully in the field of his dreams. He wouldn’t be racing around the track chasing millions of dollars in prize money.

Barbaro’s value isn’t in the money he earned — a sentiment that hopefully the Jacksons learn thereby causing them to stop racing horses.

We shall see.

Posted in Moaning, Thinking | Tagged | Leave a comment

Do the little buggers live for more than two hours?

What’s with straight people and their need to propagate the species at all costs?

The news that a Tel Aviv court granted the parents of a dead soldier the right that his sperm produced two hours after his death can be turkey-basted into the womb of a woman selected by the parents that their deceased son never met bewilders the Grumpy Vegan.

How do you harvest sperm from a deceased man? Images of masturbatory necrophilia immediately come to mind. Who would have had the pleasure, sorry, duty of stimulating to orgasm a dead 20-year-old soldier? Is this why rigor mortis is so important?

Were images of the soldier’s hanging balls — like Hussein’s hanging — captured on a mobile phone? Surely the money shot (look it up) will appear on youtube soon.

And they worry about gays queering straights in the military.

But surely the little buggers cannot have been harvested (is that the right verb?) this way?

The only other way that the Grumpy Vegan can think of is testicular surgery. But aren’t the little darlings produced only to order? Or do they swim around in one’s balls waiting for ejaculation? If so, can sperm be ordered up to two hours in advance?

Tomorrow, the Grumpy Vegan will add a codicil to his will. No masturbatory necrophilia if that’s how they did it. If not, we deserve to be told.

Posted in The Grumpy Vegan Life | Tagged | Leave a comment