Why Britain Is Great

Fortunately the trapped man had once taken a survival course, and although digging a snow cave, covering up against sandstorms or sucking out viper venom weren’t useful skills, the training did prove helpful. The pioneering spirit came to the aid of David Leggat during his four-day ordeal in the gents’ lavatory of the Kittybrewster and Woodside bowling club in Aberdeen.

“I knew I had to keep my feet warm,” he said, perhaps recalling Sir Ranulph Fiennes getting so badly frostbitten he had to saw off the ends of his own fingers with his penknife, “so I kept running a basin of hot water and putting my feet in, to send the heat through my body.”

Leggat, 55, was locking up the outdoor bowling clubhouse on Monday evening last week when he nipped into the lavatory before leaving, without bothering to switch the lights on. He missed the telltale clonk of the outside handle dropping off, and only realised his plight when he tried to open the door again.

He knew it could be a long wait. The next home fixture listed on the website of the club, where the retired teacher fills the role of wine steward, was against Grandholm, at 6.45pm on May 1 2008.

Leggat had no mobile phone, and was wearing only a light jacket and trousers: sleep on the first night was almost impossible because he was so cold, but the faint light of dawn from the skylight 12 feet above his head brought new hope.

Breakfast, lunch and supper were simple: “I had nothing to eat so I sipped on cold tap water to keep me going,” he said.

After eight hours, pitch darkness fell again. “It was very difficult to sleep in there as it was so small and cramped, and tiled floors and walls make it very uncomfortable and even colder. I was lucky if I got three hours of sleep a night.”

The third day brought some variety to the routine: the club secretary, Bob Ewing, dropped by to check everything was in order, but failed to hear Leggat’s cries for help from the back of the building.

The next day, cleaner Cathy Scollay arrived and, as she told BBC Scotland yesterday, when she switched on the lights she heard a voice shouting: “I have been locked in for four days.” Scollay could not open the door either, but called Ewing, and together they finally freed the Kittybrewster One.

“He was a bit shaky, and was as white as a sheet,” she recalled.

“At least there was a toilet to use,” Leggat said, apparently completely recovered from the experience. “The only thing I regret is not being trapped behind the bar.”

“Man spends four days trapped in bowling club’s toilets” by Maev Kennedy The Guardian.

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Thought for the Day

But it is said, why not introduce “humane” methods of slaughtering, and so remedy the chief evil in the present system of diet? Well, in the first place, “humane slaughtering,” if it be once admitted that there is no necessity to slaughter at all, is a contradiction in terms. But letting that pass, and recognising, as Vegetarians gladly do, that there would be a great reduction of suffering, if all flesh-eaters would combine for the abolition of private slaughter-houses and the substitution of well-ordered municipal abattoirs, we are still faced by the difficulty that these changes will take a long time to carry out, opposed as they are by powerful private interests, and that, even under the best possible conditions, the butchering of the larger animals must always be a horrible and inhuman business. Vegetarianism, as a movement, has nothing whatever to fear from the introduction of improved slaughtering; indeed, Vegetarians may take the credit of having worked quite as zealously as flesh-eaters in that direction, feeling, as they do, that in our complex society no individuals can exempt themselves from a share in the general responsibility–the brand of the slaughterer is on the brow of every one of us. But there is no half-way resting-place in humane progress; and we may be quite sure that when the public conscience is once aroused on this dreadful subject of the slaughter-house, it will maintain its interest to a much more thorough solution of the difficulty than a mere improvement of methods.

Henry S. Salt (1851-1939) Excerpted from “The Humanities of Diet” (Manchester: The Vegetarian Society, 1914), serialised on The Grumpy Vegan and available in full at the Animal Rights Library. Learn more Henry Salt.

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Thought for the Day

If medical men, instead of quibbling about the word “Vegetarian,” would recommend to their clients the use of animal products, as a substitute for “butchers’ meat,” there would be a great gain to the humanities of diet. Incidentally, it must be remarked, the doctors quite admit the efficiency of such substitutes; for in their eagerness to convict Vegetarians of inconsistency in using animal products, they guilelessly give away their own case by arguing that, of course, on this diet the Vegetarians do well enough! As for those ultra-consistent persons who sometimes write as if it were not worth while to discontinue the practice of cow-killing, unless we also immediately discontinue the practice of using milk–that is to say, who think the greater reform is worthless without the lesser and subsequent one–I can only express my respectful astonishment at such reasoning. It is as though a traveller were too “consistent” to start on a journey because he might be required to “change carriages” on the way.

Henry S. Salt (1851-1939) Excerpted from “The Humanities of Diet” (Manchester: The Vegetarian Society, 1914), serialised on The Grumpy Vegan and available in full at the Animal Rights Library. Learn more Henry Salt.

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Thought for the Day

To show, however, that this question of the temporary use of animal products has not been shirked by food-reformers, I quote the following from my “Plea for Vegetarianism,” published nearly thirty years ago.

The immediate object which food-reformers aim at is not so much the disuse of animal substances in general, as the abolition of flesh-meat in particular; and if they can drive their opponents to make the important admission that actual flesh-food is unnecessary, they can afford to smile at the trivial retort that animal substance is still used in eggs and milk. . . . They are well aware that even dairy produce is quite unnecessary, and will doubtless be dispensed with altogether under a more natural system of diet. In the meantime, however, one step is sufficient. Let us first recognize the fact that the slaughter-house, with all its attendant horrors, might easily be abolished; that point gained, the question of the total disuse of all animal products is one that will be decided hereafter. What I wish to insist on is that it is not ‘animal’ food which we primarily abjure, but nasty food, expensive food, and unwholesome food.

Henry S. Salt (1851-1939) Excerpted from “The Humanities of Diet” (Manchester: The Vegetarian Society, 1914), serialised on The Grumpy Vegan and available in full at the Animal Rights Library. Learn more Henry Salt.

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Why Britain Is Great

Maurice Fox insists he has tried to do something about his embarrassing tendency. The retired bus driver has stopped drinking strong cider and, as soon as he feels the telltale rumbling in his lower reaches, limps to the porch as quickly as his 77-year-old legs will carry him. But Fox yesterday found himself having to explain the whys and wherefores of his digestive system after the committee of the social club he has attended for 20 years censured him for breaking wind too often, too loudly and, frankly, too pungently.

Fox, who is an honorary life member of the club, said: “It’s only a little bit of wind – it doesn’t really hurt anyone. I sit by the door anyway and try to get out when I can. But sometimes it takes me by surprise and just pops out. They can be a bit loud at times. If I’ve got time and know they are coming I go into the porch inside the door. And there is no smell at all since I gave up the cider and started on the Bass.”

In the letter, George Shepherd, the secretary of the Kirkham Street sports and social club in Paignton, Devon, wrote: “Dear Maurice, after several complaints regarding your continual breaking wind (farting) while in the club, would you please consider that your actions are considered disgusting to fellow members and visitors. You sit close to the front door so would you please go outside when required.”

Fox, a grandfather of five, said he did not want to offend anyone. “The ladies find it a bit rude but the men have a chuckle. My wife died seven years ago and I live on my own so I might have lost a few social graces. But I was surprised to get the letter from the committee.”

Fox also pops into the Palace Place club, where his wind does not seem to cause so much of a stir. He said: “I think it’s because the Palace is men-only.”

“Better out than in: club tells windy member to go outside” by Steven Morris The Guardian

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