Maurice Fox insists he has tried to do something about his embarrassing tendency. The retired bus driver has stopped drinking strong cider and, as soon as he feels the telltale rumbling in his lower reaches, limps to the porch as quickly as his 77-year-old legs will carry him. But Fox yesterday found himself having to explain the whys and wherefores of his digestive system after the committee of the social club he has attended for 20 years censured him for breaking wind too often, too loudly and, frankly, too pungently.
Fox, who is an honorary life member of the club, said: “It’s only a little bit of wind – it doesn’t really hurt anyone. I sit by the door anyway and try to get out when I can. But sometimes it takes me by surprise and just pops out. They can be a bit loud at times. If I’ve got time and know they are coming I go into the porch inside the door. And there is no smell at all since I gave up the cider and started on the Bass.”
In the letter, George Shepherd, the secretary of the Kirkham Street sports and social club in Paignton, Devon, wrote: “Dear Maurice, after several complaints regarding your continual breaking wind (farting) while in the club, would you please consider that your actions are considered disgusting to fellow members and visitors. You sit close to the front door so would you please go outside when required.”
Fox, a grandfather of five, said he did not want to offend anyone. “The ladies find it a bit rude but the men have a chuckle. My wife died seven years ago and I live on my own so I might have lost a few social graces. But I was surprised to get the letter from the committee.”
Fox also pops into the Palace Place club, where his wind does not seem to cause so much of a stir. He said: “I think it’s because the Palace is men-only.”
“Better out than in: club tells windy member to go outside” by Steven Morris The Guardian
