The New York Times editorial, “Of Red Meat and Breast Cancer,” concludes,
Why red meat might have this effect is unknown. Researchers suspect several possible culprits: carcinogens found in cooked or processed meat, growth hormones fed to beef cattle, or the type of iron found in red meat. The silver lining — if red meat does indeed increase the risk of breast cancer — is that the cure would be simple: Just eat less meat.
Just eat less meat.
Astonishing.
“Mr. Stallwood, please sit still.”
“Please stay calm, Mr. Stallwood.”
“Please keep your legs still Mr. Stallwood.”
“Are you in pain, Mr. Stallwood?”
“We’re nearly finished Mr. Stallwood.”
“Mr. Stallwood, almost finished now.”
“Not much longer to go now.”
The Grumpy Vegan will be once again in the dentist’s chair. I have British National Health Service teeth. Raised on a diet of white sliced bread and white sugar by loving parents who knew no better. I have a mouth full of fillings, which are being transformed, slowly but surely, into crowns.
“You need another crown, Mr. Stallwood.”
In fact, I need two, on Tuesday, December 12.
One crown I can barely tolerate. Two, I need drugs. Valium is being prescribed. A driver booked.
This will be my first trip to my dentist’s new offices.
“We have lots of new ways to make your visit less stressful,” he promises.
“You mean a cocktail bar with handsome waiters?”
“No.”
“But you can listen to music. Watch DVDs.”
The dilemma now becomes which music. DVDs are not an option. When I’m being violated I prefer to keep my eyes closed. I also don’t want to distract the dentist by what would almost certainly be a bizarre choice on my part.
So, I’m considering some Buddha Bar or Gianni Schicchi by Puccini but I may end up in tears when O Mio Babbino Caro plays. Then, there’s Massive Attack, which I think will go well with the valium.
Even before any of this happens, I’m anxious about the valium. I generally don’t take drugs of any kind. My addictions are coffee, alcohol and The Guardian quick crossword. I don’t sleep well and the few sleeping pills I’ve taken kept me awake. So, I’m concerned the valium will have the opposite effect of its intent. So much for animal research.
Anyway, all of this leads me to invite you to email me with your suggestions as to what to listen to for 90 minutes or so in the dentist’s chair under the influence of valium?
Please, no thrash or hip hop or country music.
You may wonder why the Grumpy Vegan hates going to the dentist. It’s the drilling. But it’s more than that. It’s what happens … or could happen when the madman drills to the center of the earth via my mouth.
Once, I was in the chair having a root canal. A thunderstorm raged outside. The room was windowless. You could hear the thunder but couldn’t see the lightning.
The power surged. The lights flickered.
“You remember,” the dentist reminisced with his assistant, “when we lost power completely? We had to send the patient home unfinished. She had to come back the next day.”
They’re oblivious to the hysterical panic crazed idiot in the chair not being entertained by the dentist’s good times.
“The tooth’s cracked,” he said.
“You’ll have to have it pulled.”
“Can’t you do it,” I dribbled. “You’re a dentist.”
“No.”
“I won’t charge you. My assistant will give you the address.”
In a scene reminiscent of the ring being tossed into the fire by a fat singing woman, I drove ahead of the storm to the tooth-pulling dentist.
“Don’t break my chair,” dentist number two said as I clung to my life and the Wagnerian thunderstorm came closer.
I couldn’t give a damn about his chair. Or his pathetic humor.
Just do what you’ve got to do. And get me out of here.
Peter died on Wednesday, November 15. He suffered from Parkinsons for some considerable time.
CIWF’s chief executive, Philip Lymberry, writes,
Peter was a true visionary. He took up the cause of farm animal welfare at a time when few others shared his concern. He challenged government and industry. He galvanised support, paving the way for the issue to become a widespread concern. He challenged the view that animals were mere ‘agricultural products’. In the 1980s, Peter conceived the idea that animals should be granted a new status as ‘sentient beings’ and started a campaign in Europe. It was to be truly ground-breaking. In 1997, the EU agreed to legally recognise animal sentience in what is known as the ‘Amsterdam Protocol’, signalling an official sea change in attitudes to animals.
I’m eternally grateful to Peter for showing me how meaningful it is to dedicate one’s life to others in need. What could be more important than this in how we live?
A November 3 New York Times editorial commented on recent Harvard Medical School and National Institute of Aging research which showed obese middle aged mice fed on resveratrol (a naturally occurring substance in red wine) as part of a high-fat, high-calorie diet lived as long and as well as mice who stayed thin on a standard diet. The editorial goes on to wish well the researchers but warned “many a magic potion that looked good in animals has failed when tested on humans.” Apparently, “one would need to drink hundreds of glasses of wine a day to reach the levels of resveratrol given to the mice.”
To save the lives of the mice and further human well-being, the Grumpy Vegan volunteers for the research that involves drinking “hundreds of glasses of wine a day.”
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As important as yesterday’s electoral victories are for animal protection in Arizona and Michigan it’s not the way forward to making animal protection a mainstream political issue.
The present strategy of identifying through public opinion polling unpopular egregious examples of animal abuse and making them the focus of ballot initiatives successfully addresses those issues. But it’s no substitute for a long-term strategy, a macro-campaign to position animal protection as a mainstream political issue alongside such issues as, for example, the environment.
This is why I’ve been developing since 2003 The Animals’ Platform. This is the Animals and Society Institute’s program to making animal protection a mainstream political issue. The Animals’ Platform CD-ROM is now available. It explains the why and how and is based on the success in the UK and EU in framing animal protection as an issue of votes, parties and platforms. E-mail me at kim@grumpyvegan.com or kim.stallwood@animalsandsociety.org for a copy!
Congratulations to all the national and local organizations and the compassionate individuals who worked hard to secure electoral victories for animals in Arizona and Michigan!
The HSUS reports that in Arizona Proposition 204 passed overwhelmingly by more than 60 percent. This makes Arizona the first state in the nation to prohibit the confinement of calves in veal crates and the second state to prohibit the confinement of breeding pigs in gestation crates. These two factory farming practices are infamous for their inherent cruelty and are both already banned throughout the European Union.
Also, Michigan Proposal 3 was rejected by 68 percent of voters. This ballot initiative would have opened the first target shooting season on the mourning dove—the state’s official bird of peace—which has been a protected species since 1905.
