To demonstrate what a vegetarian really is, let’s begin with a simple thought experiment. Imagine a completely normal person with completely normal food cravings, someone who has a broad range of friends, enjoys a good time, is carbon-based, and so on. Now remove from this person’s diet anything that once had eyes, and, wham!, you have yourself a vegetarian. Normal person, no previously ocular food, end of story. Some people call themselves vegetarians and still eat chicken or fish, but unless we’re talking about the kind of salmon that comes freshly plucked from the vine, this makes you an omnivore. A select few herbivores go one step further and avoid all animal products—milk, eggs, honey, leather—and they call themselves vegan, which rhymes with “tree men.” These people are intense.
Meatless Like Me: I may be a vegetarian, but I still love the smell of bacon by Taylor Clark. An example of what the Grumpy Vegan would describe as a smart-arse attempt at writing about being a funny vegetarian in a not-so-funny world. Every now and then it amuses but generally it hot-hums.
