What’s with straight people and their need to propagate the species at all costs?
The news that a Tel Aviv court granted the parents of a dead soldier the right that his sperm produced two hours after his death can be turkey-basted into the womb of a woman selected by the parents that their deceased son never met bewilders the Grumpy Vegan.
How do you harvest sperm from a deceased man? Images of masturbatory necrophilia immediately come to mind. Who would have had the pleasure, sorry, duty of stimulating to orgasm a dead 20-year-old soldier? Is this why rigor mortis is so important?
Were images of the soldier’s hanging balls — like Hussein’s hanging — captured on a mobile phone? Surely the money shot (look it up) will appear on youtube soon.
And they worry about gays queering straights in the military.
But surely the little buggers cannot have been harvested (is that the right verb?) this way?
The only other way that the Grumpy Vegan can think of is testicular surgery. But aren’t the little darlings produced only to order? Or do they swim around in one’s balls waiting for ejaculation? If so, can sperm be ordered up to two hours in advance?
Tomorrow, the Grumpy Vegan will add a codicil to his will. No masturbatory necrophilia if that’s how they did it. If not, we deserve to be told.
