{"id":141,"date":"2007-01-29T19:46:34","date_gmt":"2007-01-29T23:46:34","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.grumpyvegan.com\/blog\/?p=141"},"modified":"2007-01-29T19:46:34","modified_gmt":"2007-01-29T23:46:34","slug":"141","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/grumpyvegan.com\/blog\/2007\/01\/29\/141\/","title":{"rendered":"Do the little buggers live for more than two hours?"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>What&#8217;s with straight people and their need to propagate the species <em>at all costs<\/em>?<\/p>\n<p>The <a href=\"http:\/\/www.cnn.com\/2007\/WORLD\/meast\/01\/29\/israel.deadmansperm.ap\/index.html\">news<\/a> that a Tel Aviv court granted the parents of a dead soldier the right that his sperm produced two hours after his death can be turkey-basted into the womb of a woman selected by the parents that their deceased son never met bewilders the Grumpy Vegan.<\/p>\n<p>How do you harvest sperm from a deceased man? Images of masturbatory necrophilia immediately come to mind. Who would have had the pleasure, sorry, duty of stimulating to orgasm a dead 20-year-old soldier? Is this why rigor mortis is so important?<\/p>\n<p>Were images of the soldier&#8217;s hanging balls &#8212; like Hussein&#8217;s hanging &#8212; captured on a mobile phone? Surely the money shot (look it up) will appear on youtube soon. <\/p>\n<p>And they worry about gays queering straights in the military.<\/p>\n<p>But surely the little buggers cannot have been harvested (is <em>that<\/em> the right verb?) this way? <\/p>\n<p>The only other way that the Grumpy Vegan can think of is testicular surgery. But aren&#8217;t the little darlings produced only to order? Or do they swim around in one&#8217;s balls waiting for ejaculation? If so, can sperm be ordered up to two hours in advance? <\/p>\n<p>Tomorrow, the Grumpy Vegan will add a codicil to his will. No masturbatory necrophilia if that&#8217;s how they did it. If not, we deserve to be told.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>What&#8217;s with straight people and their need to propagate the species at all costs? The news that a Tel Aviv court granted the parents of a dead soldier the right that his sperm produced two hours after his death can &hellip; <a href=\"https:\/\/grumpyvegan.com\/blog\/2007\/01\/29\/141\/\">Continue reading <span class=\"meta-nav\">&rarr;<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[8],"tags":[24],"class_list":["post-141","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-the-grumpy-vegan-life","tag-glimpses"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/grumpyvegan.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/141","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/grumpyvegan.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/grumpyvegan.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/grumpyvegan.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/grumpyvegan.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=141"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/grumpyvegan.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/141\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/grumpyvegan.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=141"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/grumpyvegan.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=141"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/grumpyvegan.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=141"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}